SLEEPING APART

Hi guys

Hope you all have been good?.

I have been quite busy with exams but am done now. So happy to be free from all mid night reading and lectures …. For a while though.

I was on my way home last weekend and overheard a conversation that had me engrossed. Two ladies were speaking about a friend of theirs who just got married and they were happy about her having her own room and were planning to follow her steps.

They seemed to see it as a show of power of getting anything the wanted and that it gave them privacy but my question is privacy from who? I know a lot of millennium girls who see this as a thing of accomplishment but I sincerely disagree. Some say most nights you are just too tired to cuddle talk-less of sex, so you get to escape having to explain yourself for not being in the mood.

With my experience and knowledge of guys, I know a lot of guys love cuddling but are shy to admit it, also what if it gets cold at night and he needs some love, he has to come to the other room.

Then my lazy side says I will have to make two beds, clean up two rooms also laundry will have an addition. Also if we have any issue during the day, the night time can help resolve it quickly if you know what I mean above all it increases intimacy between man and wife.

Plus sometimes pillow talks are just the very best, you can get anything

I am still appalled as to what privacy I would require?

What do you think?

ACRIMONY

Have you ever been a relationship for so long or invested your time, life, money, energy and much more in a person and have it all a waste. That was how Lisa felt.

Kelvin (her ex-husband) had been announced dead that morning, and she still didn't feel satisfied, she wanted him alive to suffer for all he had caused her, all the hurt and pain. Not even the fact that his new wife killed him made her feel better, she wanted to do the killing herself.

Lisa had just turned 53 yesterday and couldn't seem to get over the hatred she felt in her heart, she kept wondering where she went wrong in her life and how best she could salvage what was left of it.

Her mind rolled back to how it all began: it was a new year and Lisa just celebrated her 25th birthday which was a huge celebration as she just graduated top of her class and was offered a job in one of the top 5 construction companies in Lagos.
She was among the 5 recruits the company had made that year and was the only female among them. Salary was 300k for starters which was perfect for a young single girl in Lagos. she finally got an apartment on the fifth floor of the "bar beach tower" houses which was few minutes from her office, Life couldn't be better than this she thought to herself.
Ooh but if a man could come her way it would be a perfect match. her dream man is six foot, dark with an eight figures annual salary (do the maths), definitely loving and caring, wasn't that on every girls list. "I don't want a lot" she said to her self thinking of how much she had achieved.

Work was interesting as she enjoyed what she was doing, only problem was it was a male dominated profession so she had a lot of pushing to do to excel which she did, it took her only five years to get promoted to manager and another eight years to become a director in the her firm. She was proud of how far she had gone, if only there was a man to share that joy with her.

Funny how with money comes a lot of responsibilities, she had started her own NGO and constructed two mini bridges for her home town. They all loved her and prayed for a man to come her way, which according to society was the sole aim to a woman's purpose, she ended up sleeping every night praying for a man, in fact any man as long as he can get her pregnant for a child was what she yearned most for.

It was another birthday which only meant "getting older" to her. she was the BIG FORTY this time around and no man in site not even a prospect, she realised she was staring at her reflection in the mirror and remembered she was deciding what to wear to an award's event which she had a VIP ticket for. finally a lovely red gown she had worn only once at her company's AGM flashed through her mind.
It took only an hour to get to the event, she was ursherd in alongside a lot of VIP's, she was sitted next to .... wait a second he was fineee... who was he, she felt her heart stop for a moment, he was smiling at her and his lips were moving, ooh my those lips could do magic to her.... "STOP!!!" her head tried to bring her mind and heart to concentrate, she only then realised he was asking for her name.

It was indeed a lovely evening, she had been swept of her feet like a baby, and guess the best part, he was based in Abuja and just recently began his own legal firm. Yes he was a lawyer and had been practicing for more than twenty years, did i mention he was fifty one yup and a divorcee but who cares. Finally it felt like life was smiling at her, what more could she have wanted in a man, he fit the bill.

It has been three months since we officially started dating (two weeks after we met) and this would be our 10th date since we were very busy executives, he had invited me to Dubai for a weekend, i didn't mind at all, he had done all the reservation ahead of time so it was a swift and smooth trip never did i know that was the beginning of my doom. stepping into the bedroom i realized rose petals was all over the floor and bed.... aww he was really romantic, turning around i saw him on his knees asking me to be his wife.... Time literally paused, i had waited my whole life for this moment, ooh how happy i was, i can't remember how loud i was but i know i said yea and the rest was history.

We had been married for 10 years now no child, i was too excited getting married finally i did not do the necessary checks, turns out my dream man was sterile!!!, can you imagine my shock after trying for years and thinking it was all my fault not knowing it was him all along. I decided to open an orphanage home to help cure my hunger for a child but all i wanted was my own child with my blood but he took that away from me, ooh how i hated him now, worse off was i had loaned him so much money to invest in his company and didn't know how to get my money back as the company made barely enough to run itself.

"How i wish i could turn back the hands of time", she kept thinking to herself, she had quit her job few years after the marriage trying to stay as stress free as possible thinking she was the cause of their lack of child, she had given him more than half of her savings to invest in his company with hope of getting a twice the amount, what a fool she was, she had given this marriage her all, it turned out he was not half of the man he claimed to have been, but just a shadow of it, he lived off loans and used her to pay off a lot of his debt, she was willing to pay to cover her shame, "i should have known better" she cried to herself.

The sound of someone banging at the door jolted her back to reality, checking the time she realised it was past eleven, wow she had been lost in thought for long, hurrying to the door she wondered why he was coming home so late, to her surprise she found the gate man at the door, "oga said to give this to you" he said handing her an envelop.

Tearing into the envelop wondering what this was all about she found divorce papers, her heart certainly had stopped, he had to be joking.... hold on ... something else was in the envelop, it was a letter, which explained how he loved her no more and wanted another woman, who he had engaged.
How, when, where.... different thoughts flew through her mind, he had breakfast in this very house this very morning, how did all this happen so fast.... Ooh my Lord, it began to make sense, all those jobs that took him away for days sometimes weeks, he was searching for her replacement, besides she had no steady source of income and had a great chance of going bankrupt.

How didn't she see the signs, he was a user and her value had faded, ooh noo he had to pay, for all he took from her, how could he ruin her like this, ooh how great the mighty has fallen... he will surely pay for all this, she promised her self, ooh if only she could rewind the hands of time!!!

MARRI“AGE”

I was caught off guard last week during a neighbourhood meeting, when a neighbour of mine (late forties) asked me how my husband was, I smiled and replied “I am not married” and the look I got in return left me wondering what my sin was.

So here I am asking if there is an age one gets to which states marriage has to happen.
I feel it is something we get into when we find that right person who makes us fly and is also available to catch us if we fall, someone with whom life, goals and objectives can be built.

I asked quickly what the look meant and scornfully she replies “you are not getting any younger” (ps am just 25). She goes on to say how we millennium girls are so busy chasing career and leave family behind, but if a man does not come along should i put my life on hold till he does?, She continued saying “The dream of every female graduate should be marriage, then others can follow”, but what if am not ready for marriage??.

Don’t get me wrong, I dream of getting married but not to anybody but to somebody. It might not seem different but it is. I begin to wonder, how many of my kind got married because age seemed right, or everyone was doing it or aunties like this won’t mind their business. Then i thought of how family or peer pressure could drive someone into making wrong decisions.

When should we actually get married?

Is there really an age one must not get to and still be single?

I got lost in thoughts and then it hit me, i never really felt sad or alone, i was enjoying my life, i just got a nice job in the city, a lovely apartment to myself and yes i had males friends who had potentials of being Mr right but we are taking our time. 

Life was not bad at all, i had better enjoy being single and learn how to love and groom myself, so that when the time comes and i know it will, i will be ready. 

I found my smile again

I still remember the look on her face when I told her I was enjoying the time of my life being single, earning and loving myself, family and friends.

LIFE IN THE CITY

Hello

Its been a while since my last post... so sorry i have been trying to settle in to my new life.

Lately a lot has happened with me, i feel like a girl in those movies who quits her job in her local town and elopes to the city with all her savings in search of new adventures.

Have you ever been so confused in a situation and couldn't decide if to stand still or move forward, if you were meant to take this ride or the next ride? i couldn't tell but i sure as hell wasn't ready to wait and see what happens and so i took the leap.

So far so good, it hasn't been all bed of roses i must say, i have fallen, crawled and even limped but i had to keep moving all the same.

Have you ever looked for a home in a big city? ooh my it is not a nice experience except you have a lot of cash and i mean lots of it. Tiny little spaces are given out for huge amounts so you have to choose between the slums or a tiny piece of heaven which cost a whole lot.

Anyways i will say it has been worth it, i just love the view i see each time i look out the window, the cityscape, life that never sleeps,the hustles, the dreams, aspirations, innovations, opportunities and so much more, it is just too beautiful to ignore.

Then the people, i find amusing, i see a lot trying to live up to a standard they cannot afford just to be seen as rich, what amazed me the most was the fact that most people measure you by what you wear or your phone or car not even by your way of reasoning or views and opinions towards life, That left me thinking, where is all the modesty and humility in the world, the the stroke that broke the camel's back was, ''having prospective business clients, walk you to your car to determine your worth'' didn't your ability to do the job matter anymore?

Indeed, i look forward to the adventures this city has to offer.

MONSTER IN-LAW 3

I still could't tell why mama wasn't satisfied with anything i did. To back it all up she wasn't even trying to correct me or teach me how to do it better, so at least i could improve, what could i do? i want a close knitted family, i want us to be so close that people can't tell whose biological mother she was or did i want so much, wasn't it possible?.

Ben hadn't still arrived and mama was in the sitting room watching a movie all in a bid to keep awake to welcome him, on second thought he was usually home by 6:30 pm, latest 7 pm. I checked my time and it was past 9 pm, ooh lord, time was far gone, i felt cold all so sudden, i hope he was alright, i quickly reached for my phone and started dialing him, it kept ringing but he didn't pick up, i became more anxious and couldn't keep it to myself.

I rushed to the sitting room and told mama what i had just realized and my fears as he wasn't picking up, i could see the concern in her eyes, "what do you mean he's not picking" she replied reaching for her phoned to dial him but she got no response too, "my son ooh" she screamed. I saw a different side of her, she looked torn apart, i didn't know when i stretched out to hold her promising her he was just fine, at least i hoped he was, he was never the keeping out late type but whenever he had to, he always sent a message or better still a call, all these made my fear worse.

Paul also confirmed Ben had left the office for home and couldn't remember him mentioning any other plans. this was the fifth colleague i had called and none seemed to know his whereabouts and i sincerely did not know how to feel about this, mama on the other hand who was strong catholic had started serious prayers, and sincerely hoped it worked, i wasn't ready to be a widow....God forbid!!

Mama and i couldn't bat an eyelid as we watched out for every car or sound that could be our Ben; "ggrrrr, ggrrrr" went my phone, breaking the silence in the room and had me running to it, "let it be my son" mama cried out, indeed it was him, "babby!!" i yelled, i couldn't hold back the emotions i felt, "where are you, are you ok" i asked but the voice on the other end wasn't his, "good evening ma'am, this is, Dr Jon is this Mrs Daniel" oohh my lawd i could swear the world stopped for a moment, what had happened ooh no my fears can't be real, what has happened to my baby? i couldn't find words for a moment, "helo heloo" i had to respond i had to be strong for i and mama, where is your hospital i replied, reaching for my car keys.

The wait in the visitors hall was quite a long one, i realized everyone of us waiting had either fear or grief or hurt or relief on their faces depending on what situation had them waiting; "Mrs Daniel" i jumped up to my feet of course mine was fear of the unknown, mama still held on me tight not wanting me to leave her side, i felt accepted by her in the last few hour.

The joy and relief i felt had no bound, he was involved in an accident and sustained an injury which was not so deep but needed stitching and dressing, but he was fine, he was alive, he was still with me, i realized i was choking him with my hugs and kisses but please he had me all shades of worries, ooh my mama was still waiting, i quickly rushed to get her to his ward, her joy knew no bounds, she was dancing and singing all to the glory of God.
We both decided to sleep in the hospital by his side and just then we all realized we were starving so ordered Chinese, mama was no longer on my case somehow we got bonded by our pain... hahaha who knew it could be so