I THINK I LOVE MY FIANCE

It all began on a cold Saturday morning, i woke up late as always, after trying to beat the Lagos traffic and failing of course, plus i had no work to rush to, i don't usually see any reason to run out of my bed but truthfully i love sleeping. I eventually had to leave my bed because one of my Yoruba friends had a birthday bash and she had earlier promised it would be fun, the next problem i had to tackle was finding an outfit to fit the occasion, ooh my! it gets me so confused that i always end up going later than i planned.

After a long search i settled with a crazy jean, black top and sneakers, yup i looked pretty nice although i had my natural hair packed to a bun, i needed to visit a saloon soon, but this would do for now. Ensuring all doors and windows were properly locked i left for my party. The crowd wasn't big so i could float around, just then i noticed a tall glass of chocolate was staring at me, (BTW i mean a dark skinned man) ooh my he was fine but of course we always have to front first, so i acted very occupied like i didn't notice him.

Finally he got some courage to walk up to me, he seemed nice and had a good command of English which makes it two scores on my list, i further learnt that night that he was an engineer and earned 8 figures annually (do the maths) plus he was a proper gentleman and had a brilliant dress sense, if you ask me he had serious potentials of being hubby (smiles).

To cut the long story short, we started dating officially a month later and of course had a lot fun together, he was simply amazing...... but i didn't see us getting married. As a girl i always dreamed of the moment i will meet "him", how he would propose, how we would plan our life together till forever and all that kinda stuff, but i never felt that way with him, i felt like i was settling or trying to play it safe, he was perfect but not perfect for me, he never gave me butterflies in my belly, he would make a good friend but not a good spouse, i couldn't see us living together, sharing our lives, space, family actually sharing everything but he seemed ok with us.
I once complained to my girls but they all said we looked perfect together but i didn't seem to see the picture they saw, he said yes to everything i wanted, it was always my way, but i don't want to be always right. This became my new worry

So i ask, how to do i say "i love you no more" when he/she has been nothing but an angel and remember the longer i stall the harder the break away, or could i learn to fall in love with him with time?? besides we have been together for six months.

A forth night later he invited me to this luxurious restaurant in Ikeja, they have the best pepper chicken, i noticed he was quiet and seemed like he had a lot on his mind, i tried talking him out of it but to no avail and finally he stood and took a knee..... o oo ooh my God was he about to propose? was he for me? am i ready? he spoke up, interrupting my thoughts, "baby, i loved you from the day i asked you to be my girl, i cant imagine going a day without hearing or being with you, i promise to make you happy and give you all i have, please marry me"
ooh my those were the loveliest words i have ever heard, but my head still asked "do you love him?" but sincerely i didn't think i did but how do i say i don't love you anymore or maybe i never did, i was pulled out of my thought by the voices whispering "say yes" just then i realized people in restaurant were all staring and some how i said yes.